Ask These 7 Questions Before You Break Up
7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Breaking Up If you are considering breaking up, discernment counseling might help you answer these questions. It can be done alone, or together with your partner. Here is the blog post version of the above video ⬇️ The most common questions I get in my office are: Should I […]
How to Stop Being Defensive in Your Relationship
How Can I Stop Being Defensive? Defensiveness is one of the most common problems in all relationships, especially romantic ones. We know from Dr John Gottman’s research that defensiveness and criticism are two of the “4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse”, which predict divorce and relationship unhappiness. Criticism and defensiveness go hand in hand. They travel […]
Do Trial Separations Work?
Do Trial Separations Work? A Couples Therapist Explains the Hidden Risks When couples are struggling and unsure whether to stay together, a trial separation is often presented as the responsible middle ground. The logic seems sound: create some distance, gain perspective, and then decide whether the marriage is worth saving. But after decades of working […]
What Is Relational Humility?
What Is Relational Humility? Most people think healthy relationships are built on communication skills, compatibility, or conflict management. While those things matter, one of the most important — and often overlooked — qualities in a strong relationship is relational humility. Relational humility is the ability for two people to value each other equally without either […]
5 Ways to Bring More Joy to Your Relationship in 2026
Hi There , Happy New Year! Here in 2026 I think we’re all ready for a little less stress and a little more fun. Before I get into todays topic, which is all about JOY, I want to let you know I have a new YouTube video out. If you’ve ever tried to be supportive […]
The 30 Second Cure for Resentment in Relationships
This Trick Eliminates Resentment in Relationships Resentment can kill you.Literally. It increases your risk of heart disease, ulcers, and even stroke.And it can also kill your relationship — slowly, in the form of separation and divorce. Not only that, but resentment feels awful, both for you and your partner. If you find yourself getting frustrated […]
5 Minute Morning Relationship Reset Routine
The 5-Minute Relationship Reset: Start Your Day with Connection, Not Disconnection [This article is grounded in Positive Psychology research and theory} You ever wake up and feel a little off with your partner?You’re not mad, not fighting — just… distant. It’s a quiet kind of disconnection that can sneak into even the healthiest relationships. Most […]
How to Build Emotional Intimacy
How to Rebuild Emotional Intimacy in Your Relationship You clicked on this article because you want more emotional intimacy in your relationship. Maybe you’re feeling a little distant from your partner and you’re not sure how to reconnect. That’s a painful place to be, especially when the love is still there. You care deeply about […]
25 Relationship Lessons I Wish I’d Known Sooner
I’ve Been Helping Couples for 30 Years Here are 25 Relationship Lessons I Wish I’d Known Sooner After more than 30 years as a couples therapist — and working with thousands of couples — I’ve seen just about every pattern of love, conflict, and repair imaginable. I’ve also been married for 23 years myself, so […]
15 Experts Who Make Me a Better Gottman Therapist
The other day, someone said, “You’re a Gottman Therapist, right?” The short answer is “Yes.” the long answer is “Yes, and …” Here’s my story. I had the privilege to train with John and Julie Gottman in their prime years. I first saw John speak in 2007 and I was inspired by his warm demeanor, […]