Is Couples Therapy Right for You? Here is your “Do I Need Marriage Counseling Quiz”
Many couples are not sure whether they need marriage counseling, couples therapy, or some other kind of help. There are many ways to refresh your relationship, and it can be overwhelming to try to figure out which kind of support is right for you.
Start by taking the “Do I need Marriage Counseling Quiz” and then keep reading to learn about the five different ways t acheive a healthy relationship.
Do you need couples therapy or something else? Here is Your Ultimate Guide to the many ways to acheive a healthy relationship.
I am a licensed couples therapist, author and educator. This article will help you assess your relationship needs and learning style, and then detail all the different kinds of relationship help with links.
Where to Start
Take this Do We Need Couples Therapy Quiz to see which resource is best for you.
- DIY Resources from Reputable Sources
- Online Workshops or Couples Retreats
- Weekend Getaway Couples Retreats
- Traditional Couples Therapy with a Licensed Professional
- Intensive Couples Therapy with a Licensed Relationship Specialist
All of these different approaches to relationship health have benefits and challenges. This Do I Need Couples Therapy of Something Else Quiz is the closest I can come to sitting down with you over a cup of coffee to help you decide which of these five approaches is best for you right now.
What Brings You Here?
Is your relationship going through a rough patch? Are you wondering if couples therapy can help? Maybe your partner doesn’t want to join you, or maybe you’re worried couples therapy could make things worse?
In this article, I have detailed a comprehensive list of all the different kinds of evidence-based resources to be used in conjunction with this Do I Need Therapy Couples Quiz.
The “Do We Need Couples Therapy? Quiz” is a series of eight screening questions to evaluate your relationship needs, including financial resources, learning style and level of relationship distress. Then you’ll receive results to help you determine your next best steps.
I recommend taking the time to find the right kind of help according to who you are, who you love and how you learn.
After you get your quiz results, review these options together with your partner to choose which is best for you.
Keep reading to learn about the pros and cons of the five different methods for relationship improvement. I describe each strategy, give links to my own versions of each approach and walk you through your decision process.
1. DIY Resources from Reputable Sources
Resources You and Your Partner Can Do On Your Own
The quickest, cheapest and easiest way to get instant relationship help is by taking advantage resources you can do on your own.
Whether you are looking for date night ideas, communication skill-building activities, or strategies for conflict management, there are endless free articles, books, workbooks, podcast episodes and videos all over the internet.
The hard part about sifting through these resources is knowing what advice is coming from reputable, reliable sources, and what is well-meaning advice coming from anecdotes rather than scientific data.
I’ll walk you through some pros and cons of this approach as well as share the resources I have created for you.
Pros of DIY Resources
- Free or Low-Cost
- Can Do Alone or Together
- Can Be Done Any Time
- Can Be Done in Any Location
- Life-Long Acess to Return to As Needed
Cons of DIY Resources
- Requires High Commitment for Follow-Through
- Requires Research to Check Credibility of Sources
- No Personalized Support from a Professional
- Least Effective
DIY resources are the least effective of the five different approaches, mostly because of low follow-through rates. It can be hard to stay motivated to keep reading a self-help book, or follow up with recommendations in the midst of busy lives with multiple obligations.
However, DIY resources are perfect for highly motivated couples who are good at following through with their goals.
Here are My DIY Resources for Self-Motivated Couples
- Empathy Made Easy: Free Mini Course for Couples
- 52 Dates in 52 Weeks: Free Date Night Planner
- How to Fight Fair: YouTube training video on how to avoid the Attack/Defend Communication Cycle (Stop John Gottman’s Four Horsemen)
- How to Be the Best Partner You Can Be: Free eBook containing 9 questions to test your love
- Love Is an Action Verb: Relationship Self-Help Book you can read on your own or together with your partner
- Love Is an Action Verb Workbook: Over 70 Exercises for You and Your Partner to do Together (increasing fun, communication, intimacy and trust)
2. Online Workshops or Couples Retreats
Online Resources That Give You More Support than the Free Stuff
While there are many reputable online resources, most couples (even those who are highly motivated and have enthusiastic intentions) don’t actually follow the advice that they read about.
There is only one way to acheive long-lasting relationship happiness, and that is by deliberately carving out time to prioritize your relationship.
Online workshops or couples retreats are worth considering if you are looing for a budget-friendly alternative to couples therapy with more support than a book or podcast alone.
Pros of Online Retreats
- Lower Cost
- Support from Clinician Through Q&A Boards
- Can Be Done Any Time
- Can Be Done in any Location
- Life-Long Access to Return to As Needed
Cons of Online Retreats
- Doesn’t Include Personalized Assessment
- Requires Motivation for Follow-Through
- Requires Research to Check Reputation and Credibility of Facilitators
Online workshops or online couples retreats are more effective than DIY resources such as books and articles because they are more comprehensive. A paid retreat will give you more structure, more content and more individualized support than watching YouTube videos on your own. You’ll work through the content session by session, and complete homework exercises after each module.
Since poor follow-through is the highest factor, couples report more success with a program with an engaging instructor who will walk you through exactly what to do to reach your relationship goals.
Here Is My DIY Couples Retreat
I have put together an online couples retreat called Love Is an Action Verb Couples Retreat.
My online retreat brings you three days of essential couples therapy strategies, exercises, and insights right into your home. Or better yet, you can bring your laptop away on a weekend getaway to your favorite romantic spot.
3. Weekend Getaway Couples Retreats
Consider Packing Your Bags and Unplugging for a Weekend to Revitalize Your Relationship
Now we’re getting to the fun stuff!
One of the absoulte best ways to refresh and revive your relationship is at a couples retreat with licensed facilitators.
When is the last time you and your partner have had indulged in a romantic getaway?
As I’ve said, the only way to acheive relationship happiness is to consistently carve out time to prioritize your love and your relationship. This might require some budgeting and some future planning, but many couples find that it is worth it. Several months ago you might look back on this moment and be glad you got out your calendars and made it happen.
Pros of a Weekend Getaway
- Freedom from Distractions
- Romantic Location
- High Efficacy Rates (95%)
- Integrated Approach Helps Mind, Body and Relationship
- Personalized Support from Licensed, Expert Facilitators
- Less Expensive than Traditional or Intensive Couples Therapy
Cons of a Weekend Getaway
- More Expensive than Online Retreats or DIY Resources
- Requires Advanced Planning
- Does Not Include Personalized Assessment or Private Support
- Not Ideal for Couples in Crisis
- Lack of Flexibility re Dates and Location
- Having to Wait to Receive Help
I am lucky enough to have been married for 21 years to another couples therapist. I’m not an easy person to be in a relationship with, and I am grateful for all his patience with me and undying support.
We use the skills we teach our clients, but even so, there are times when we can get defensive or impatien or forget to do the things we’ve agreed to do.
We love to share what we’ve learned, keep growing and practicing what we preach, so we’ve decided to start offering couples retreats together.
The next one will be in the Pocono Mountains on April 5th – 7th.
You can learn more here:
It’s a three day program in the mountains where you’ll have lots of free time for spa treatments and yoga classes between your seminar classes. Michael and I will walk you through how to stay happy and connected, communicate with kindness and reach your relationship goals. It’s based on the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy since we are both Gottman-trained.
4. Traditional Couples Therapy
Traditional Couples Therapy Might Be Exactly What You Need Right Now
While there is much benefit to all five of the approaches we are discussing in this article, traditional couples therapy with a licensed provider still makes sense for many people who are looking to improve their relationship.
The benefit of working with your own couples therapist is that you will receive private, custom service tailored specifically to your needs. You’ll start with a complete assessment, and then you’ll be given exactly the support and strategies that are designed for your specific challenges.
You can choose a provider who you feel comfortable with, who has availablity that fits your schedule, and you can also work at your own pace.
Pros of Traditional Couples Therapy
- Includes Personalized Assessment by a Licensed Expert
- Includes Private Support at Your Own Pace
- Setting is Appropriate for All Presenting Problems (Including trauma, betrayal, crises and basic communication skills and connection-building)
- Therapist Tailors the Sessions to Your Specific Needs and Challenges
- Flexible Scheduling
Cons of Traditional Couples Therapy
- More Expensive than DIY resources, online or in-person retreats
- Difficult to find a highly trained clinician in your area
- Availability of reputable couples therapy experts is often limited
- Might be hard to find a provider you like who takes your insurance
- Your partner or couples therapist might ask you challenging questions that cause discomfort.
Couples therapy offers a wide range of benefits that go beyond resolving immediate conflicts. Here are some key advantages of engaging in couples therapy:
1. Improved communication: Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Couples therapy provides a structured and safe environment where you can learn and practice healthy communication skills, leading to better understanding and connection.
2. Conflict resolution: Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. Couples therapy equips you with tools and strategies to navigate conflicts constructively, fostering compromise, empathy, and mutual respect.
3. Enhanced intimacy: Intimacy is not just about physical connection; it’s about emotional closeness and vulnerability. Couples therapy helps you explore and deepen your emotional connection, fostering a more fulfilling and intimate relationship.
4. Increased self-awareness: Couples therapy encourages self-reflection and introspection. By gaining a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner’s needs, desires, and triggers, you can cultivate personal growth and become more attuned to each other’s emotional landscapes.
5. Prevention and future-proofing: Couples therapy is not just for troubled relationships. It can also be a proactive step to prevent future conflicts and strengthen the foundation of your relationship. By addressing potential issues early on, you can build a resilient partnership that can withstand the challenges that may arise in the future.
5. Intensive Couples Therapy
Intensive Couples Therapy Is Ideal for Couples who Want to Work on Their Relationship with Two-Day Back to Back Sessions
Intensive couples counseling includes a thorough assessment and practical skill-building strategies. It is personalized according to your specific needs and the results of your assessment. Sessions can be tailored to your needs and availability.
Pros Of Intensive Couples Therapy
- Ideal for Busy Couples with Challenging Scheduling Needs
- Speed Up the Assessment Process
- Avoid the Risk of “Just Talking About Your Week”
- Ideal for Couples In Crisis
- Ideal for Couples Who Like to Work Fast
- All the Benefits of Traditional Couples Therapy
Cons of Intensive Couples Therapy
- Most Expensive of All Options in This Article
- Rarely Covered by Insurance
- Might Require Travel
- Requires Advanced Planning
- Some Find Intensive Couples Therapy Exhausting or Daunting
Thank You For Taking My "Do We Need Couples Therapy?" Quiz!
Congratulations on your commitment to healthy relationships and personal growth. I hope you found what you needed 💕
In case you missed it, here is the Do We Need Couples Therapy Quiz. (Or take it again and see if you get a different result!)